At work a little over a month ago, we received the task of writing down our goals for the New Year. In an instant, I thought this would be as easy as 1-2-3:
1) Get pregnant
2) Stay pregnant and
3) Give birth to healthy baby.
However, we were told to add some thought into it, put together an action plan to achieve those goals and a means of measurement. Again, I asked to myself “how much thought is my 1-2-3- going to take?” I have been trying to conceive for over four and half years so how much more effort can I put into it. So, I decided to put it aside until the mood struck me to put a little deeper thought and effort into it.
My enlightenment came to me as I was cleaning at 6:00AM this morning for one of my remaining three clients. I remembered a little ditty of a poem sent as encouragement to all the employees by our V.P. of Sales right around Thanksgiving. At one point in this past week, I even forwarded it to my brother.
My goals are my values. The first one is a rung on a ladder, interdependent on each other for success. I have learned that when I live my life incongruently to my values then I am neither happy nor successful. My Qi or my flow of energy is not consistent and is unstable and my values need to be honored.
To help put my flow of energy for 2012 back on track my goals or values are as follows:
- Love openly & accept it unconditionally. I am not sure how to measure this one.
- Live authentically as measured with character of who I am by speaking the truth, and walking the talk.
- Honor my free spirit: maintain routine with the flexibility to change to go with the flow.
- Trust: an ever-reappearing theme. Again, I am unsure how to measure this value.
This poem to me is about leaving your legacy behind and outlining character traits to be able to look yourself in the mirror each morning. Are you able to ask yourself….are you a good person? I believe we all know when we are or not. The question then becomes it is whether we have the guts to stand up for what we believe is right and true to do the right thing but not for selfish motives. Some may consider this a religious perspective, – ok so if that is your bag then great but it does not take a religious person with socially conscious morals and values to just be a good person. This is who I want to be for my future children and need to be for myself.
This poem and challenge to write out my goals also reminded me of a book I bought for my niece for her 16th birthday “Just who will you be?” by Maria Shriver. In quoting her book, “I’ve learned that asking ourselves not just what we want to be, but who we want to be is important at every stage of our lives, not just when we are starting out in the world. That’s because in a way, we’re starting out fresh in the world every single day.”
I believe that every day I have a chance to honor my values and be just who I want to be as I am always discovering something new about myself. Over the past four and half years, I have lost a great portion of this person who I want to become, while on the treacherous pursuit of parenthood. And maybe, just maybe, if I can reclaim this sense of self through this exercise then I can learn to accept whatever may come our way.
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Thank you…again to New Blossoms New Life Foundation for giving us the gift of hope to one day become a family. There are no words to describe our gratitude for these opportunities. Doing all we can to pay it forward to spread the message of hope.
I wanted to end this year with a song by Lady Antebellum, Heart of the World. I send it out to Benjamin- my husband, my lover, my best friend, …. my everything.
“Time is a thief I would rob.”
“We’re meant to be, baby hold on to me. I’ll never not be your girl.”
“It only takes one true believer, to believe you can still beat the odds.”
Laughed Until We Cried.... 